Hanging By A Thread

There wasn't much of a hint of what was going on for Tarek. He spent most afternoons mentoring Atticus toward his eventual goal of becoming a Gamemaker, and he'd heard that things were going downhill. He knew that, but there wasn't a way he could possibly know that it was today. He was out after leaving work early, buying himself some dinner to take home. Chatting, laughing with someone outside of one of his favorite cafe''s he was as comfortable as ever. It would have gone on too. The young Gamemaker had been stopped on the street, something about the white uniform making him stand out. Another citizen with twenty thousand questions about the Games. Generally it was a problem for them to get stopped, but today Tarek was in just about as cheery of a mood as he could get. And it would have stayed that way, had someone else not caught his attention out of the corner of his eye.

The quick, determined walk of the young man caught his attention initially. Turning his gaze, Tarek frowned as he recognized the individual. With how much time they spent together, both in and out of the Control Room, there was no denying it. There was Atticus. And he knew enough to know that he wasn't excited as he hurried down the street. Looking to the still chatting Capitolite, the Gamemaker gave a horribly faked laugh and nod of agreement. "Yeah, that would be great wouldn't it? On that note, I really need to get back to headquarters. You know, to put in that suggestion. It was a lovely chat." He spoke quickly, in a bit of a rush so that he could follow Atticus without losing him. The look on the boy concerned him. The head down look wasn't encouraging. Tarek looked to the other Capitolite, but pulled away and hurried off down the street with his food. He'd deal with the damage of offending the other person later. The big brother in him instantly got majorly concerned for young Atticus. And he didn't even know what was going on.

He didn't catch up though, he couldn't quite catch him. Atticus was moving so fast and Tarek had been so behind to start with. He frowned, brow furrowed as he saw him head for the train. Where was that boy going? He didn't see Atticus as the type to run away. As far as Tarek had seen, and he'd been in his house and around his whole family, Atticus loved his family and friends here. Why would he go get on a train? It wasn't long before he came up to the boarding attendant as well, the severely confused look on her face only growing at seeing a second Gamemaker within ten minutes. Tarek looked up and gave a light sigh at the look.

"He's a long story. Just... where did he ask to go?" Tarek asked, a concerned look on his face as he waited for her answer. "He asked to go to District Four, he had one of your IDs... it looked real..." She started, and he could tell she was worried about having let in a child who shouldn't have been. Tarek gave a bit of a nod to her, thinking. Why would he want District Four? It was pretty sure... but why alone? "It's fine. The ID was real, thank you. And keep on your schedule." The Gamemaker assured her before moving past and climbing onto the train. The only way that he would get his answers would be to ask Atticus himself. And seeing how bad Atticus looked he needed those answers.

His gaze shifted over the whole train car, landing on the young man who was obviously more troubled than he had ever seen. Than he could understand at just a glance. Something huge was going on, and immediately his heart sank. The look on the boy, the way he sat alone, how rushed he had seen him... The worst crossed his mind. Tarek could only wish he was wrong, but every part of him knew that his first fear was real. There was nothing else that he could think of to cause such a look. Such a feeling in the room that caused dread even in Tarek. He took a deep breath, setting down the bag he had on one of the tables before he moved toward the boy. He was quiet for a moment, before he moved to sit down.

"It was today... wasn't it?" He asked with sad concern as he sat in the seat near Atticus. He looked over with sad blue eyes, knowing very well that his sadness and concern for Atticus would never even come close to what they boy must be feeling. He hadn't known that loss, not in that way. He hadn't been through the same thing but he could at least try to be there. He couldn't imagine being alone... He took a deep breath, sitting back in the seat as he tried to think of what to say. What did you say to someone who had lost a parent? Who had lost such a large piece in their life? "I'm sorry" was a useless statement. It wasn't Tarek's fault, and him apologizing could never fix death. But he stopped, his attention resting on the bleeding hand. He frowned even more, looking back up with just that much more concern. "What did you do Atti?" He asked quietly. He didn't want to make things worse, but he wasn't going to leave him alone either.

Tarek frowned at the silence, watching him. The lack of response only made him that much more worried but he didn't push further than he already had. He knew better than that, but he also wasn't about to take the silence as any sort of queue to leave. Even if he knew that was exactly what Atticus wanted. What Atti wanted and what he needed were completely different things. Being alone on a train off to a district was not a good way to be for an emotional and grieving young man. So he sat, watching the boy and glancing at his injury every now and then. If he didn't answer soon, then Tarek would have to figure something else out.

"Soon..." He whispered more for himself, looking down with a frown. At least it was an answer. An answer was better than none. "So that's why..?" He motioned toward the wound but frowned even more as he noticed what he was doing. Nothing that came to mind would explain why he would hurt himself. Tarek hated feeling pain, and being hurt physically when he was sad only dug the situation deeper into a struggle. And the last thing he wanted was for Atticus to be hurt as well. They all loved Marilla. They all would miss her even if it would never equal the loss that Atticus was feeling. The pain he felt. Tarek couldn't imagine it, he didn't want to feel it either. But he wasn't going to let this boy who he had promised to look after, that he cared about, to continue to hurt himself further.

He reached quickly, grabbing his hand and pulling it away with a deep frown. He stared at him with concern, but tried his best to hold his hand away from his other one. "Atti! Atticus, what are you thinking?" He started quickly, wide eyed and looking to the boy. He didn't care why Atti said he was doing it, no way was Tarek going to watch the boy make himself bleed to death with shattered glass.

Tarek wasn't, and never had been, the type to give up. He was known best for his stubbornness and holding his own opinions very important in his life. Letting Atticus run off on his own wasn't something he was about to allow. And he definitely wasn't going to let the boy keep hurting himself. Just the sight of it made Tarek cringe as well. Tarek met his angry gaze with a strong one of his own, determined not to let go. "No. I don't let people hurt my friends including themselves." He said sternly, trying so hard to keep a tough response despite seeing the tears. He hated to see Atticus cry...

Admittedly, he expected a screaming response. He could see it in the boy's face. But the hitting? Tarek hadn't expected that, visibly cringing at the hit and looking away quickly. He clenched his teeth together, shaking his head for a moment. But he held his ground, keeping his grasp on the boy's injured arm. "I just can't let you do that Atticus. What does it solve? What does hurting you solve?" Tarek insisted with a tight jaw. He looked over, desperate that the boy listen to some reason but most of him knowing that he wouldn't. "I can't let you." He repeated.

Giving a groan as he was kicked, Tarek reached to grab the boy's legs as well and stop him. "It won't go away! It never goes away no matter how much other pain you make. Loss never goes away!" He snapped back and held onto the boy tightly. He shook his head some, a couple of tears in his eyes as he watched the sad and desperate child. He wanted to fix it. He really did. But he couldn't. Nobody could fix what was hurting Atticus and it felt horrible.

Tarek's frown only deepened as the struggle continued. Even escalated. To a point where even he was cringing as Atticus moved. He didn't want to be the cause of more pain, but a sore arm later was better than the boy causing himself to bleed out. Which was Tarek's ultimate fear as he had seen young Atticus digging the glass deeper into his hand. If he so badly wanted that pain... how far would a kid like him let it go? He couldn't possibly know just when to stop it. Or even if he would be aware enough to help himself either. The way he spoke, it told Tarek he wouldn't take care of it on his own ever.

"I just can't Atticus. I won't let you hurt yourself..." He said, stubbornly but cringing as he was kicked again and looking away, closing his eyes. He hated to see how desperate and angry he was. "It doesn't help Atti! It doesn't help her to hurt you! It doesn't help you to hurt you! All you're going to do is hurt yourself and everyone around you!" He snapped back. The likelihood of the boy listening to a word he said was maybe ten percent, and he wasn't depending on that. But he'd said what he felt. What he knew. Something he also knew that someone in Atticus' state wouldn't be thinking about. And quite possibly, didn't care about right now.

Tarea couldn't hold back the sigh of relief as the boy finally ceased the kicking. He looked down to Atticus once more, meeting his gaze with a sad shake of his head. He was hurting. Hurting, but more than just the coming bruises from being kicked and scratched. More than just the fact that the child had blown up at him. Those things were predictable in a way. Tarek didn't take the fighting personally. Nor did he take offense to the yelling. He wasn't feeling attacked, but he was hurting. To see the boy he had taken in as his little brother in this stste. Reduced to screaming and kicking and crying. It hurt in so many ways. And the largest one, the fact that nothing he did could truly fix the problem that life had thrown at Atticus. Nobody could. All that he could do, was attempt to ease the pain. If that was possible, he wasn't entirely sure yet.

He met the boy's gaze though, and once the screaming had stopped he had also stopped talking. He let the moment linger in silence, the looks that their faces held telling far more of their feelings than words could express. As Atticus settled, Tarek loosened his grip on the boy's hand and let go of where he had been trying to stop him from kicking. He didn't need to be so stern with Atticus relaxing. He was thankful though, as the boy seemed to understand at least somewhat. They were both sad, in different ways and varying degrees, but they were both sad and hurting. He watched the boy settle, a tear starting down his face as he shook his head.

Tarek wanted him to know he could come to him. That it was okay if he needed to just fall apart and cling to someone. But he first took the boy's injured hand, and as gently as he could he removed the glass from it. He knew it would hurt, visibly cringing at the idea of it. he was quick to grab a cloth napkin, wrapping the injured hand to hopefully keep the bleeding down. Or at least not get blood everywhere. Now wasn't the time for severe medical care though. The man reached around Atticus as he snuggled close, closing his eyes at that.

"It hurts and I know it hurts..." Tarek said quietly, watching Atticus and gently running a couple fingers up and down his back. "It's okay to cry. To be confused. To even be angry. But you aren't alone... and you never have to be alone." He told him, hoping to give some comfort between wrapping him in a close hug and supportive words.

"Atticus that is not the answer and that will never be the right answer. You know that and don't you dare lie to yourself." Tarek insisted sternly, staring at the young boy with more concern than ever. He couldn't promise that nothing would happen to him. He couldn't promise that nothing would happen to anyone else. He just couldn't do that. But that didn't mean that Atticus needed to be alone. That was the last thing he wanted for the boy and he was pretty sure that if the young man isolated himself like that he would no doubt end his own life over it. That was all Tarek could think of and it scared him so bad... "Atticus. You can't shut us all out... We care about you..." He insisted, watching him to try and get a read on how serious he actually ways about that.

Once Tarek had finished wrapping up the boy's hand he simply wrapped his arms around him. Shaking his head he took a deep breath, letting himself rub the young man's back as he thought. "You'll lose everyone if you push them away. Most everyone. Don't think you can get rid of me." He said, looking closely at Atticus. No matter what, Tarek wouldn't stop. He wouldn't leave Atticus alone. Nobody needed to be alone, especially when dealing with loss. Especially someone so young. He glanced out the window quietly as he held the young man. All he wanted was to make it better but nothing he could do would.

"I'm not leaving you. And whether you accept it or not I'm here and I'm going to help you. And I'm not dying." He insisted. But what more could he say? He couldn't speak for the others. He couldn't promise that everyone would live or that everyone in his life would support him and be there. All he could do was be there himself. Let the child cry and cling to him. He could do that for sure. Make sure he got to Four safely, and made it home safely. Tarek could do all of those things. But how far could simply caring get him?

Tarek watched him, but didn't push the matter further. He knew Atticus was smart. Knew he'd figure it out from there. He believed in the boy and his ability to think for himself. For the most part. He listened, and wasn't about to let Atticus go at all here. Not that it seemed the boy wanted to be away from him now that he was close. "A little alone time is good for anyone. Just try not to make a habit of avoiding the same person unless you want them to eventually leave." He commented and looked to Atti quietly as he moved some hair out of his face for him. As long as the boy was working on games things or something like that he was fine. He was just worried after hearing how much hurting himself 'helped' him feel better.

"Of course not Atti. I'm not leaving you. And I'm sure not letting you go to a district alone." Tarek wouldn't even be leaving if the child screamed at him to go. He was there, he wasn't going to make Atticus go back to the Capitol instead, but he was going to be there. "You got big brother Tarek for as long as you need him kid. And I know you do now." He assured him as he continued to rub his back a bit. The trip to Four would take quite a bit but Tarek wouldn't complain about that either. He'd have to call Nero at some point but was sure the man would understand. And he'd have to organize where they could stay because at this point the next train out wouldn't be until the next morning. Maybe Nero would let him borrow his beach house that came with the job.

He looked back to the boy and offered a hint of a smile, nodding some. "I'll make sure you're awake. Promise." The man assured him. The arrival to Four was not only a pretty sight, but he knew it would be important for Atticus too.

Tarek gave a small nod to that. He would believe the young man wouldn't do anything to avoid people. He was cuddling and he was asking Tarek to stick around more. He gently rubbed his hand over his back and looked out the window. "You don't have to feel guilty if you need some space. You really don't." He assured him. Tarek had no reason to tell him he couldn't do it. He just wasn't letting him be alone any time soon. There were too many reasons not to let him be off on his own. Tarek didn't want to see him hurt.

"Well, you're the sweetest little brother I could ask for. And there is always room for you. Please don't hesitate to ask me for things. Nothing you can ask for is too dumb to be considered. Really." Tarek assured him and leaned back against the seat with a small hint of a smile as he held him closely. He wanted to show Atti he wasn't alone. He didn't want the boy to feel worse than he already actually was. The loss itself was bad enough for him that Tarek not being around was just wrong. "You can always. Always talk to me. Don't forget that..." He said quietly, but let the boy fall asleep.

Tarek was silent as he watched the scenery go by out the window. The change in the environment as they went through the districts was always amazing to Tarek. He let Atticus sleep, eventually looking down to his tablet and a map of where they were every now and then. He promised he would wake the boy when they got to the area around Four, and so he made sure to keep track. He reached, nudging Atticus a bit. "Kiddo. We are just about to the border of Four. You wanted to be awake." He said, but wasn't horribly pushy to start with.